Taoist Sexual Meditation and Laozi’s Inner Dissolving meditation method can be used to work through many different types of blockages, in relation to sex. It can also be used to release positive emotions that have lain dormant or been repressed in your life or over many lifetimes.
Here are ten possibilities on how you can use Inner Dissolving meditation:
1. An Antidote to Spiritual Stress and Deep Repressions
The Inner Dissolving methods of sexual meditation go further than sexual qigong and have a greater innate capacity to both release deeply blocked energies and repressions in the higher energy bodies—psychic, karmic and essence—and to ultimately clear what lies between you and the Tao itself. Releasing repressed pleasure in the higher energy bodies can commonly create dramatically greater joy and bliss during sex and in daily life than can freeing the energies of the physical body alone with Outer Dissolving.
Although overcoming blockages through Inner Dissolving meditation is extremely liberating, the middle ground between starting and full resolution can be quite difficult and disconcerting. The potential emotional and psychic pain encountered during Inner Dissolving can lead to a strong resistance to dealing with what has been repressed. Feeling this pain can often weaken the perseverance needed to successfully follow through and resolve blockages. Bliss derived from Inner Dissolving partner practices can counteract the drudgery and deep internal resistance needed to dissolve difficult blockages.
One major reason for the resistance that a person encounters on his or her spiritual path is the strong negative energy stored within the blockages that often contain energetic strands from many sources, such as childhood abuse, long-term negative conditioning, birth trauma and severe karmic issues. Encountering these difficult blockages during solo meditation can create insurmountable internal resistance that leads to a cascade of unsatisfactory resolutions and postponements that are perpetuated for much longer than they need be.
Using pleasure to overcome internal resistance is one of the reasons why doing either Outer Dissolving or Inner Dissolving with a sexual partner can be a less arduous meditation journey. Sexual partners can help each other overcome the grimness of dissolving difficult blockages. They will be able to use the highs of the joy and bliss to help them get through the lows of working through a blockage’s content. They can encourage each other to get to the source of a blockage and stay with it long enough to successfully resolve it.
2. Eliminate “Ghosts” in the Bedroom
After thousands of years of experimentation, the Taoists have concluded only the rare couple can withstand the complexities of a completely open relationship for any length of time. Intellectually, it may be a wonderful ideal, but, as a practical matter, the Taoists have found that it is not terribly wise. As the Taoist would say, “Don’t bring any ghosts home with you.” It is best to not bring the energy of other sexual involvements into the bed you share with your primary partner, or any other partner for that matter.
The main point and guiding rule of all practices in this book is to be fully present to each encounter, so that no secret part of you is with the ghost, memory, or fantasy of another lover. If you are pair-bonded with a spouse, or a steady boyfriend or girlfriend, and you choose to be sexual with someone outside that relationship, it is incumbent on you to clear the energy of that encounter out of your system upon completion. You want to make sure that there is no bonding residue with this third party at any level—physical, emotional or psychic—that can enter your primary relationship through your energy field or your mind.
To accomplish this, practitioners of sexual meditation intentionally, even habitually, use Inner and Outer Dissolving to totally and completely clear the energy of another lover after the sexual encounter. This is accomplished by dissolving inside yourself and, if you can, within the other as well. You want to avoid carrying the sexual energy forward into whatever comes next in the flow of your life. This is quite the opposite of what many typically do: savor a past sexual experience, using the memory and energy of an encounter to shore up sexual self-esteem or to stay somewhat turned on.
3. Release the Sheer Joy of Life
The structure of sexual meditation is designed to take a practitioner into the pure awareness and profound levels of consciousness that lie beyond ordinary dimensions. Such states have been given many names in spiritual literature, and the experience of them is magnificent. However, at the end of the day, they are simply what remain once blockages are resolved.
Our very nature is to be ecstatic and fully alive, connected with a profound inner wellspring of happiness and bliss. What’s more, Taoist meditation practice nourishes an ability to be present with whatever arises. Once the internal burdens that energetically bind us are free, we can experience the sheer joy of life, independent of any external cause or circumstance.
4. Understand the Karma of Relationships
From the Taoist perspective, karma goes on a long time, and human beings are free to find out what relationships are all about. Different seasons bring different lessons. To become a free individual, each being has to work out and go beyond the yin-yang polarity—in this life or in another. When a relationship no longer suits you, it’s best to break smoothly rather than with hatred and venom. Preserve any good human feelings that you had with the person rather than destroy them.
Taoists also emphasize the importance of noticing the qualities of your relationships as they develop rather than only after they have formed. Take note of the nature of any relationship and be aware of how it impacts your consciousness. Particularly pay attention to whether or not you can spiritually grow with a person. Always keep in mind that how you handle yourself with respect to another can result in your inner world either contracting or evolving.
To fully evolve and become free is an immense challenge, one the meditation tradition of Taoism holds is worth the effort and time it takes to see to the end.
5. Resolving the Fear of Death
Relinquishing the attachment to sexuality as a primary feature of one’s identity has benefits beyond daily life. Upon death, as the spirit separates from the flesh, a being can go through a rather disturbing period in which the mind and spirit remain powerfully attached to the memory of the physical body. This is part of the natural process of moving from one incarnation to the next. During this transition a fixation on the desires of the now-deceased physical body can affect how and where you go next. Through Inner Dissolving you can develop a sense of peace about death knowing that who you are is a soul or Being inhabiting a body.
The other flip side to of being afraid to die is that many people are just as afraid to engage fully with life. Although not conscious of the fact, many in bed don’t fully engage sexually, because the fear of death is always present in the background. Sexual meditation and Inner Dissolving can lead someone past the fear of death and bring him or her into a genuine appreciation and willingness to engage not just with sex but with life itself.
6. Resolving Current and Past Life Trauma
The interconnected web that creates and sustains a blockage includes everything that effectively keeps us involuntarily separated from others, our essence and the Tao. Resolving energy blockages is a complex endeavor in which perceiving the fabric that weaves us all together is a major key. Unambiguously necessary to this endeavor is the ability to face old traumas and the impact they have on our human relations.
Trauma exists and solidifies as tangible energetic blockages within the human energy system, regardless of whether these are related to current or past life events. Such traumas occur in every form imaginable. Whether through a sexual, physical, mental, emotional or psychic injury or assault, traumas leave residual blockages in the first six energy bodies. These take away the joy of living, decrease our awareness, condition us and cloud our view of life. Traumatic events are always linked to a particular setting and circumstance, some more extreme than others.
Natural disasters (such as earthquakes, violent storms or tsunamis), famine, disease and war, as well as oppressive dictatorships and utterly inhumane governments—all can leave residual trauma in one or more of the subtle energy bodies. Throughout time humans have shown themselves to be capable of very nasty and evil actions—experiencing these in this lifetime or previous ones often create major blockages in our energy bodies. Relational traumas such as overly prolonged anger, frustration, grief or depression, a ruptured bond with one’s mother at birth, suicide of someone close, a breach of trust with a primary caregiver, or outright betrayal by a deeply entwined associate or lover can also leave a residue in the form of stuck, blocked and frozen energy.
Taoism, along with a number of Eastern spiritual traditions, recognizes that unresolved trauma—whether from a current life or from one or several past lives—can and does continue to play itself out in real time. These unresolved traumas can play havoc with a sexual relationship. Karmic replays of past patterns can be resolved during sexual meditation with Inner Dissolving.
7. True Partner Merging
Through Inner and Outer Dissolving, Taoists discovered they could directly merge with the consciousness of another person who was also a sexual meditation practitioner. The Taoist Inner Dissolving practices make it relatively easy to experience what your “other half” is actually experiencing within his or her body, energy and Spirit.
In the Water tradition of sexual meditation, you directly experience your opposite polarity at its source—within the body and soul of the “other.” The aim is to understand, balance and transcend the essential male-female (yin-yang) energies that compose all human beings and, in fact, all beings throughout the universe.
8. Nonphysical Psychic Linking
The ability to feel and activate not only your energy but also that of your partner becomes increasingly heightened and amplified when you begin sexual meditation. This includes psychic energy. When you find yourself attracted to someone or even having strong sexual desire, your new psychic abilities can help you sort through your feelings.
At this stage in your practice, you increasingly understand that visual appeal is a small part of being attracted to someone. What you want to know is whether you have the potential to be energetically compatible, whether for an evening or longer. Moreover, with a person that might not be a practitioner of Taoist internal arts, you might want to know if he or she has deeply blocked energies or emotional fixations that will impede your own progress and/or your future relationship with that person.
Taoist sexual meditation practices can teach you to ”read” the energy of someone to whom you are attracted and answer those questions. You can unobtrusively enter and feel his or her energetic field without interfering, touching or manipulating his or her free will in any way, so when it’s over, you leave them just as they originally were, without leaving any influence inside them. The motivation and way of doing it seeks to avoid any form of psychic influence or manipulation, as for example many proponents of Sex Magic are prone to do. It is important to understand that the “energy reading” of another person is a fairly advanced technique that must only be done in honorable ways unless you wish to incur heavy negative karmic debts.
9. Discovering Your True Essence
From a spiritual view, after you clear enough of your karma, discovering and embodying your seventh energy body or essence, after having dealt with your karma enables a person to evolve and have a unified soul, or ling, (see Chapter 3, “Body of Individuality”) capable of reincarnating whole. Otherwise, the Taoist view holds that when a person dies, he or she splits up and has to begin all over again, with much of what the person learned and accomplished in the previous life vanishing. Furthermore, until someone accomplishes the body of individuality, he or she is not equipped to begin the spiritual journey toward embodying and becoming one with the Tao.
Inner Dissolving is the method through which someone can release and resolve the blockages in their first through seventh sixth energy bodies. These blockages must be mostly cleared before a person arrives at his or her essence. The Inner Dissolving meditation method is the means and not the goal itself, which is in fact realizing the seventh and eighth energy bodies.
Even if one does not arrive fully at the body of individuality, doing Inner Dissolving is still beneficial. Releasing the earlier energy bodies makes your life more stress-free, smooth, relaxed and happy. Although you can arrive at the same place by doing solo practices—standing, sitting, moving and lying down—as mentioned before, your access to up to four times the energy through sexual practices makes the work go much faster.
The paths of sexual qigong and sexual meditation take courage. These practices can release repressed blockages within some people at a faster pace than they may be able to psychologically handle at that time. If these psychological issues arise and are too much, the advice is to step back, adhering to the seventy-percent rule or, even better, just take a break and return later if desired. When you take a break from sexual meditation you might consider returning to practicing only solo practices, and then, when you get a bit stronger you can try partner work again. Meanwhile, as you undergo a period of integration, you can still enjoy ordinary sex without meditation before smoothly gliding back into it.
10. Entering into Universal Consciousness
Once you and your partner begin to work with the seventh and eighth energy bodies and your consciousness starts moving to the distant ends of the universe, you begin to connect with that which pervades everything—Source, God, the Divine, Tao or Spirit. Regardless of what you call this universal connection, joining and integrating with it in a totally relaxed way at every level is the ultimate goal of sexual meditation.